Reflecting

From time to time, I have to stop and reflect. What's gone on in my life that was right, wrong, and what I learned about God in all this, and myself.

I spent most of the week obsessing over the LSAT. Friday I took a long walk to gather my thoughts and to "get my head in the game". After I got back, I was working on the Reading Comp section of the test, practicing the skills I am attempting to learn, when it hit me. "I am not going to have a perfect score on this test!" WOW! Here i was, during practice, worrying more about what I was getting wrong than why I was missing the questions, and why I was getting a few right. (by the way, i looked back, I was averaging around 70% right) I don't read well, after all I am a product of Quanah High School, (LOL! not that has anything to do with it, but an excuse for me) and I have never really worked to improve my reading skills.

I have spent most of my adult life trying to prove people wrong about me. Frances Marie Owens, who was the counselor at QHS, once told me that I was not college material. I took that at face value for a few years after high school, till I decided that just maybe I can do this. Well, I did it! Not only did I accomplish, or figure out that I was college material, I set higher goals during the process. I wanted to further my education, grad school. I was pushed and prodded by people like Randal Williams at VRJC. Then while at Tech, by folks like Dr. Vaughn and others. But, I fell again to the mainstream thoughts of going to college. Get your degree, get a decent job, and retire some day. Part of that had to do with being tired of not "living" comfortably. So i took the first job that I applied for out of Tech, something I seemed to be pretty good at and not getting out of the scope of how I was raised, agriculture.

But a few things happened along the way. One, I had given up on my dream to go to graduate school, had become "complacent" with the "status quo" (whatever that is) and had failed miserably at being a husband. I was a pretty good "dad", but an awful husband.

I spend a lot of time listening to different preacher's sermons. One that made me think about what life was about was form a guy I met at the Red River Family Encampment 2 years ago. Gary Smith, who was one of the speakers that weekend, is the preacher at the Fifth Ward Church of Christ in Houston, a predominately minority, inner city congregation. I became a fan of Gary's, downloading a few of his sermons to my ipod. He has one sermon that was directed to the youth of his congregation at graduation time about dreaming big. God doesn't expect anything less from us. I come to this realization from Matthew 25 in the parable of the talents. A man, fixing to leave town for a few days, entrusted his business to 3 people. You know the story, one he gave 5 talents and another 2 and the last 1. What did they do with the talents? The first two took there's and doubled them, the last took his an buried it, afraid of losing it. Who did God's will here? Of course! The first two. They took what they had been given, remained faithful, and was rewarded. The last guy, whom I can relate, was not faithful and therefore was not rewarded. He was complacent with the status quo of what he had been given.

Do you ever sit and wonder "what if"? I have way too much. It's time to get up and "dream big"!

My brain is old and set in its ways!

Whew!! My brain is on over load right now. In case you're just joining me here, I am in the process of studying for the LSAT. Trying to get my brain to "understand formal logic". And for a guy who has always been satisfied with the obvious, this is a tough exercise for me. Don't misunderstand me here, it's not that i think it's beyond me to comprehend this, I'm just having to re-train this 45 year old brain to think and look for things it didn't know was missing.

It's a lot like studying the bible. You can take things for face value, or dig a little deeper and find the real answers.

Here we go!

Well, the day is here. I started my preparation class for the LSAT today. I have to be really honest right now, I feel like I'm at the deep end of the pool with my toe stuck in the drain, wishing I could just tread water. I took my baseline test today. The practice test basically sets my baseline so that I can trace my progress. I was both mentally and emotionally drained when I finished the test. I don't think I have ever taken a test as gruelling as this test was today.

The LSAT is not about knowledge. It's about problem solving. And, I really felt that at my age and with my life experiences that I would be more prepared than I was. The positive thing here is I'm in the right place. I chose back a month or so ago to register for the prep class through Kaplan. Kaplan has THE (According to the Harris Poll) highest number of former students that actually got into law school with their test prep techniques. So, with that said, I feel really good about my chances of getting in.

I know that some of you are wondering why law school? Well, I have wanted to do this for quite some time but just never had the guts to "get it done'. And, If I don't at least make an attempt at this, well, I'll go to my grave wondering "what if?". Those of you that know me best know that I'm not a "what if" kind of guy.

The choice was really pretty simple. I'm at a cross roads in my life. My son, Jonathan, asked me a couple of months ago if I was going through some kind of mid life crisis. So what if I am? I was sick and tired of the pressures of selling, burned out is a term most folks choose to use. And I wasn't going to settle for just "finding another job". I thought about nursing school. I do have an interest there but not a "burning"interest like I do in becoming an attorney. I thought about going back to graduate school, in agriculture of course, but what would I do with that? I thought about going to preaching school and going to a mission field somewhere. But my little kids are still school age and I refuse to miss them growing up, so that was out. I spent most of the month of June praying about my decision. Praying like I have never prayed before. Asking God for some direction, and that His will be done.

Another reason for my choice, was to prove that, at 45, I can go back to school. I can have a successful life. I can persevere.

God still in control and He still answers prayers! I know he will guide me with his steady hand through this endeavour.

The Mountains!

My daughter Sarah and I went up to Costilla, New Mexico this past Wednesday to camp with my friend Kurt and his three kids. There are a few things I learned about myself during the past 4 days.

1. I love hot showers, daily!

2. Being able to shave, daily!

3. Clean toilets.

4. Time with my daughter, priceless!

5. Clean air and few people.

6. Clear night sky with lots of stars!

7. I miss my phone!

8. The internet!

9. Sleeping outside.

10. I missed Lizzie!

Just a few things, I could go on and on here, and this list is not in any order.

I had lots of time to think clearly. It's good for me to get away to think, and clear my brain from the daily worries. I thought about my decision to go back to school and if law school is the right choice for me. I thought about Jesus a lot at night. I was reminded of Luke 6:12.

"One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God."

I spent a lot of time in prayer while I was there. Not any more time than I usually do, but just felt closer to God. I guess 9,000 feet above see level will do that for you! Only 6,000 feet closer than I usually am! LOL! I spent a lot of time praying bout my decision. I spent a lot of time praying for my kids, especially the younger two. I prayed that they would understand their dad's decision to go back to school. Some of the sacrifices they will have to make having a dad back in school and being 60 miles away instead of a couple of blocks away. The main thing that I prayed for is that God's will be done in me being back in school, and that His will be done at the completion of law school. I prayed for Kurt and his three kidos. It's tough being a single parent.

We had a big time. We did some hiking. Yes, I hiked! Huffed and puffed is more like it. We fished, didn't catch any, but it was fun. Saw some beautiful country! The mountains in New Mexico are to die for! Ate really well! We took steaks for our evening meals, and had eggs, bacon and sausage for breakfast. Nothing like a meal cooked over a camp fire!

Sarah and I spent some really quality time together. That was really special time for me!

Rejoicing

We are studying the book of Luke in our class on Sunday morning. I have really enjoyed the facts that Luke gives us on the life of Jesus. An interesting thing hit me as I was reading and listening yesterday morning on chapter 15 of Luke.

The parable of the lost sheep. One of 99 sheep are missing, but the herdsman leaves the 99 to find one lamb. He leaves the 99 in open country and goes after the one. How often do we as Christians do this? How often do we leave our comfort zone to go find one lost soul? Then, do we truly rejoice in the finding of that one lost soul? Just some things to think about.

Again, the parable of the lost coin. Do we clean house trying to find that one lost soul. She lost 10% of her coins, but she "lights a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it". How often do we as Christians sweep and look carefully for a lost soul?

Then the parable of the lost son. This guy becomes of age and decides he wants his part of his inheritance, and the father gives it to him. He goes away and squanders it, has to find a job to live and desires the food he's to feed to the pigs. Then he makes the decision to go back home hoping that his father would hire him as a servant. What happens? His father welcomes him with open arms, feeds him and gives him a home. Now what about the other brother who stayed behind and continued to work for his father? He gets mad, and refused to go. Feeling like the father has wronged him some way. But the father reminds him that everything that's left is his. And that his brother was lost or "dead" but now is found or "alive". How many times doe we find ourselves angry or upset at someone who was with us, leaves then comes back to open arms?

I can relate my life to all three stories. I have lost my faith, not really interested in finding what i lost. I have not search carefully for a fellow christian who's lost there way. I can relate to the brother who took his inheritance, lost it, found himself and came back. Then, i can relate to the brother who's stayed behind to help tend to things, then when a lost brother shows back up, had a hardened heart towards him.

And look who Jesus is telling the stories to. Pharisees, the self righteous Jews, who's complaining that Jesus is hanging out with and "welcoming" sinners. Hopefully I have learned some things here to apply to my life!

The Crown Jewel

I had supper in Lubbock with a really good friend of mine last night. She and I have been through similar situations within the past couple of years. Been in a couple of relationships that just didn't work. She shared some advice with me last night. And after thinking about what she said, I have decided to share that with you.

She said, "Don't settle for someone you can live with, wait for that person you can't live without".

WOW! That was one of the best "advice" statements I have heard in a while. Just coming out of a relationship that lasted a while for me, LOL! (almost a year!) that really hit home. Dating at 45 is no fun. And I have decided that I'm just really good by myself. LOL! I think that's a huge step for me. No Yahoo Personals, no Match.com, no nothing. Just not looking.

Think about this......

I was thinking about my post from yesterday. Some where around 874 BC, Elisha was plowing with oxen.

1 Kings 19:19 "So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of Oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair."

This is 874, or so, years before the birth of Jesus. Think about that for a minute! My great Granddad plowed with mules some 2,000 years later. Not a lot of progress made in farming in those 2,000 years.

I think what is even funnier, in this story, Elisha junks out his plowing equipment so that he can cook the meat of the oxen and feed the people. Then he left and followed Elijah.

Elisha must have been a large farmer. The story says he was plowing with 12 sets of oxen. Hmm. I wonder how many tractors and how much land that would relate to today? 12 tractors and 10,000 acres?

Just a thought!

Farming Has Changed!

Most of ya'll know about my vast agricultural background. I was raised on farms in both Lockney and Quanah, Texas. My dad was killed in a farming accident in 1971. My step-dad farms in the Quanah area. And I have spent a life time in the business. Except for a stint in the real estate business back in the mid 80's, I have been directly involved in production agriculture all of my adult life. I have witnessed lots of changes in farming in my life time. The very first change that I can remember, as a child, was air conditioned cabs on tractors. I can remember the first tractor we owned that had an air conditioned cab. It was an Allis Chalmers 7060 (i think the model is right). John Deere had a long back order list for the 30 series tractors in early to mid 70's. So we bought the AC and I can remember the day Jack Handley from Vernon delivered it. My step dad, Joe Gayle, had a cousin, Donald Drake, that was and AC man. He's the one responsible for us owning anything Allis Chalmers. (LOL! I blaim him! LOL!) I can remember when Joe C. Baker, who was Joe Gayle's dad, went and bought a used John Deere 4430 about a 6 months to a year after we bought the Allis Chalmers tractor. Now we had 2 tractors with air conditioned cabs.



I learned to drive a tractor on a 4020 John Deere. No cab, no ac, and it ran on LP gas! It was very hot in the summer time. Now in the winter, we had "comfort covers" on the tractors. The comfort cover was made of heavy canvas and started up front just behind the air cleaner screens and went along both sides of the engine, all the way back to the seat. It moved the warm, or in the case of the LP model HOT, air back to the operator. Making it some what bearable to be out on a cold winter day.



I'm not even going to get started on changes in harvesting equipment!




I drove a brand new John Deere, like this one, for two days this week. My very good friend, Randy Henderson, called me Tuesday morning looking for a tractor driver to get some fallow ground plowed. I helped him out. I plowed about 600 acres in 27 hours! That's about 22 acres an hour! (to put that in terms some of you can understand, there are 43,560 square feet in an acre) It has a gps unit on it that steers the tractor for you! Now, you may ask yourself, "why would you need that?". Well, let me tell you. I was a crooked plower growing up. I couldn't make straight rows for nothing. My attention span is not that long! LOL! You're always either overlapping or leaving a skip. This gps unit steers you to within 6"-8" of where you need to be. And straight! I really looked good out there! LOL!

I couldn't help but think about my great grand-dad John Belt while I was driving this tractor. He followed my great grand-mother and her family to the south plains from Olustee, Oklahoma back in the early teens. He passed away in the late 70's. I can remember a story he used to tell about coming to Floyd county horseback, the grass stirrup high and made him sea sick waving in the wind. And those early pioneers breaking this land out with a horse or mule and a single bottom breaking plow. I don't know if you realize this, but that's been less than 100 years ago. In 100 years, we have gone from horse drawn plows to the tractor I have described. And to be able to manage money to be able to pay for this tractor! The list, base price is some where around $225,000. John Belt bought a combine in the early 20's for $1500. Not only has technology changed, the $$$$ have too.

Walking on water?

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. ~Chinese Proverb

Do you ever feel like you're sinking? I'm reminded of the story of Peter when Jesus was walking on the water. Jesus calls Peter to come out to him. The funny part of this to me is Peter's faith was sufficient to get out of the boat and stand on the water, but the wind blew in his face and he began to sink.

Isn't that like us sometimes? We start something and it's easy to do. Then the "wind blows" or the phone rings or someone tells us that we can't do that? Our faith is immediately demolished.

We're not wired up that way. Watch a toddler sometime that's trying to learn to walk. They fall down, they bump their head on things, but we always encourage them to keep going. And they want to succeed in that endeavour! At what age did we quit telling our kids "yes" or "go" and start telling them "no" or "stop"?

Just a thought!!!

I'm having one of those days, weeks for that matter!

As I was looking for "good food" for my brain today, I ran across this quote by the late Erma Bombeck:

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."

Think about that for a minute. As I am in the process of redefining who Preston Belt is, I have to stop and ask myself "will I have unused talent on judgement day?". Do I bury my talent or have I doubled up on my talents (see Matthew 25:14-30).

What have you done with your talents today?

It's a Coke or Pepsi kind of day! But I want a Dr. Pepper!

Do you ever find yourself caught up in the events of the day? Taking your eye off of the prize at the end? Making really random decisions as the day progresses that really aren't relevant to your goal?

You see, to me, life is made up of decisions. Some good, some excellent, some not so good, some terrible. I tend to focus on the "bad" or "terrible" decisions I make and get bogged down with them. I admit, some days are better. But I'm my own worst enemy. I think satan really joys in us focusing on our bad decisions. When God wants you to focus on the good things in life.

Philippians 4:8 NIV "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, what ever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."

What has gone right in your day? Are you trying to decide between Coke or Pepsi when you really want a Dr. Pepper?